DISGRACED SPRINTER BEN JOHNSON CALLS HIMSELF “INTELLECTUALLY RETARDED”

FORMER OLYMPIC SPRINTER BEN JOHNSON AND HIS DEAD LAWYER

Former Olympic sprinter Ben Johnson is suing the estate of his late lawyer for $37 million.

Johnson was a Canadian Olympic sprinter and formerly The World’s Fastest Man. He was one of the first major athletes to be involved in a steroids scandal. In 1988 Johnson was kicked out of the Olympics and stripped of all his medals and records.

 

BEN JOHNSON

The lawsuit contends attorney Ed Futterman took advantage of Johnson. The suit also contends Johnson was incapable of understanding complex legal documents. Johnson’s own lawsuit contends, psychiatric experts concluded in 1989 that “there is overwhelming evidence that Mr. Johnson is intellectually retarded.”

Johnson is actually the second athlete to play the “retard” card. In 2000 former Los Angeles Dodgers star Pedro Guerrero was acquitted on drug charges after his lawyer convinced a Forida jury that he was too stupid to be a drug dealer. The attorney argued on record that Guerrero was a sixth grade dropout with an IQ of 70. The lawyer said since Guerrero was unable to perform simple tasks like being able to write a check or make a bed there was no way he could have dealt drugs. The jury bought it and found Guerrero innocent on all charges.

 

PEDRO GUERRERO

WEIRDO JAVELIN GUY MAKES OLYMPIC TEAM AFTER ALL

BREAUX GREER

Javelin thrower Breaux Greer has made the Olympic track team after all. Greer had originally failed to qualify during the Olympic trials, but USA Track & Field added Greer as an injury replacement.

TYSON HOMOSEXUAL IS FAST

TYSON GAY HOMOSEXUAL

Deadspin.com and the gay-themed outsports.com both have this story today:

When sprinter Tyson Gay set the 100 meter record this weekend he was referred to as “Tyson Homosexual” in several headlines.

Apparently the website OneNewsNow has a filter that automatically changes the word “gay” to “homosexual.” The site is owned by a Christian right-wing organization called the American Family Association based out of Tupelo, Miss.

 Thus, when Tyson Gay won his race…

OFFICIAL JAVELIN CATCHER

 

If you look carefully at the above photo you’ll notice that Utah photographer Ryan McGeeney has a javelin sticking through his leg. McGeeney, a former Marine who served in Afghanistan,  received the injury at a high school track meet.

Luckily, the javelin missed all of McGeeney’s tendons, bones and arteries.

The best part of the story is McGeeney still  managed to get pictures of the javelin sticking through HIS OWN LEG.

Sweet! Semper Fi, baby.

RANDOM PICTURE OF ALLISON STOKKE PUMPING GAS

WORLD’S FASTEST MAN NOT FAST ENOUGH: TIM MONTGOMERY CAUGHT DEALING HEROIN

FORMER WORLD RECORD HOLDER TIM MONTGOMERY IS GOING TO PRISON

At the start of this decade track star Tim Montgomery had it all. He was the fastest man in the world, an Olympic gold medalist and dating one of the most famous women in the world, track star Marion Jones.

Now Montgomery is facing a long prison term and was branded last night as a heroin dealer.

Montgomery was already facing prison for his role in a check cashing scheme. He was due to be sentenced this month for his role in stealing and cashing $1.7 million in counterfeit checks. Montgomery could get 46 months in prison for that charge.

Now he faces MAJOR drug dealing charges after being arrested last night in Virginia. The 33-year-old sprinter is accused of dealing more than 100 grams of heroin in Virginia over the past year.

FORMER LOVERS TIM MONTGOMERY AND MARION JONES WILL SOON BE GETIING ALL THEIR LOVIN’ IN PRISON

THE WHITEST TOWN YOU KNOW

 

“EXCUSE ME, STEWARDESS, I SPEAK JIVE.”

For years Eugene, Oregon has been known as Track Town USA.  Now they may want to change the city’s nickname to The Whitest City in America.

Embarrassingly, the City passed a resolution recently mandating its employees to receive training in how to speak to black people.

This year Eugene will host the US Olympic Track & Field Trials for the fourth time. The trials determine which American track athletes will go to the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, China.

The Trials are expected to attract about 17,000 people per day while injecting $16 to $18 million into the local economy.

When it comes to track history, Eugene, Oregon stands alone.

The University of Oregon is not only the home of legendary track star, Steve Prefontaine… 

They are also the town where Nike founder, Phil Knight went to college.

What the city does NOT have is an African American population.

African Americans make up less than 2% of Eugene’s population. So, city officials have ordered their employees to undergo sensitivity training (to better relate to the hundreds of African Americans in town for the Olympic Trials.)

They’ve even formed an organization to help educate local townspeople on diversity. They’re called “Blacks on Track,” and are made up of 23 members. The group will work on how to make all athletes, especially those in the African American Community, feel at home. Member Betty Snowden says,

“We’ll let them know where they can get their services be it good soul food, a hair cut, or religious services. And that they feel welcome.”

The city’s attempt at political correctness has been met with scorn and derision from the Right and the Left.

A sampling:

Fox News has been gleefully running video of this story all day.

And the guy from blackentertainmentblog. com went so far as to call the people of Eugene, “You dumbass bastards.” Michael Vass was incredibly offended that people in Eugene feel that he needs a translator.

Before now, the University of Oregon was most famous as the location of the filming of the movie Animal House.

That would mean the most famous person ever to set foot on campus in Eugene is this guy:

The kids who attend school at the University of Oregon are now doomed to go through life with the label as the real life “The Whitest Kids You Know.”
 

PRISON BITCH

 Nice abs! (for a dude)

Former track star, Marion Jones, reported to a federal prison in Fort Worth, Texas today to begin serving a six month sentence.  She was convicted of lying to prosecutors in the Balco steroid case.