Archive for July, 2008

BRUCE WILLIS DUMPS BOTTLED WATER ON PAPARAZZI

July 31, 2008

PREFERRED READING MATERIAL OF CRAZED GUNMAN

July 31, 2008

CRAZY CHURCH KILLER (AND BIG SEAN HANNITY FAN) JIM DAVID ATKINSON

Lunatic gunman Jim Atkinson was arrested by Knoxville police following his killing of two people and shooting eight others at a children’s play. The Tennessee man said he commited the crimes in order to “kill liberals.”

When authorities searched Atkinson’s house among the items found was the book “Liberalism is a Mental Health Disorder” by conservative radio talk show host Michael Savage.

 

 

Also found was a copy of “Let Freedom Ring” by talk show host Sean Hannity,

 

 

 

 

 

and a copy of “The O’Reilly Factor,” by television talk show host Bill O’Reilly.

 

 

JUST THEO BEING THEO

July 31, 2008

RED SOX GM THEO EPSTEIN

Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez appears to have burned his last bridge out of Boston.

It’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein will unload the team’s disgruntled star before today’s trade deadline. The last straw appears to be an interview Ramirez gave to ESPNdeportes.com. In that interview, Manny made the EXACT point that I did on Sunday-that the Boston Red Sox regularly villify star players once they make too much money and routinely run them out of town.

Ramirez mentioned Pedro Martinez and Nomar Garciaparra specifically. The same things has happened from the ’70s with legends like Carlton Fisk, through the ’80s with guys like Fred Lynn, and into the ’90s when Boston fans were convinced to give up on a “washed up” Roger Clemens. Clemens went on to win mulitple Cy Young Awards in Toronto and a World Series ring with the hated New York Yankees. It even happened in the 2000’s to World Series heroes like Johnny Damon and, as Ramirez points out, Pedro Martinez. Apparently it’s still going on today.

At least Boston fans are consistent. they fall for this crap from ownership EVERY time.

However, Ramirez probably crossed the line when he said star players were “mistreated” by the Red Sox and things have gotten so bad “they don’t deserve me.”

 

MANNY RAMIREZ

MARK CUBAN RECEIVES UNEXPECTED ENDORSEMENT FOR CHICAGO CUBS OWNERSHIP

July 31, 2008

DAVID STERN

The Dallas Morning News has an interesting tidbit on their NBA blog. Bloomberg News asked NBA commissioner David Stern what he would tell Major League Baseball owners about the prospect of controversial Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban purchasing the Chicago Cubs. (Cuban is one of three announced finalists for acquiring the baseball team.)

Stern and Cuban have a long-running feud. In fact, Stern has fined Cuban more than $1 million over the years. Surprisingly, Stern gave Cuban a glowing recommendation. According to Bloomberg News, Stern said about Cuban,

 

“They should welcome him.”

 

 

MARK CUBAN

ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER AIRLINE ATROCITY

July 31, 2008

 

Yesterday we brought you the story of Delta Airlines and their shabby treatment of a woman with muscular dystrophy. Certainly we didn’t mean to single out any ONE particular airline for being filth. American Airlines is just as evil as Delta and probably does an even worse job of running an airline.

Yesterday the company’s PR flak actually bragged about charging U.S. soldiers being deployed to Iraq “only” $100 per pag. That means every soldier that travels on American Airlines from their home base to where they’re being deployed from with their ISSUED training gear has to cough up an extra three hundred bucks. Other airlines like Southwest and Continental routinely waive any excess baggage fees for U.S. soldiers.

SENIOR CITIZENS CHEECH AND CHONG BEGIN “LIGHT UP AMERICA” TOUR

July 31, 2008

CHEECH MARIN AND TOMMY CHONG

“MOTHER OF THE YEAR” DINA LOHAN ACCIDENTALLY AUDITIONS HER 14-YEAR-OLD FOR PORN DIRECTOR

July 31, 2008

FAMILY LOHAN

God, I hate Hollywood. Yes, it’s true that Dina Lohan actually won a “Mother of the Year” award despite turning her oldest daughter, Lindsay, into a drug-addled skank. But, keep in mind, Kevin Federline also won a “Father of the Year” award.

Now Momma Lohan has turned her attention to destroying 14-year-old Ali on a reality tv show. However, the latest Lohan family embarrassment wasn’t some staged, made-for-tv event. Stage mom Dina was intending to audition the youngest Lohan sibling for the movie Trolls. Instead she unknowingly had Ali read for a porn director. The story was first reported by TMZ.com.

NEW MCCAIN AD COMPARES OBAMA TO BRITNEY SPEARS AND PARIS HILTON

July 30, 2008

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DESPITE HIS PORN MUSTACHE JEFF KENT DOESN’T LIKE PORN

July 30, 2008

JEFF KENT’S MUSTACHE

There’s no doubt that newspapers are dying. Despite this fact, many sportswriters are making more money than they ever have before. A lot of those writers aren’t necessarily doing the best work of their careers. In fact, the Skip Bayless, Jay Mariotti and Woody Paiges of the world are now unproductive parodies of themselves. Tony Kornheiser was so useless that the Washington Post paid him millions of dollars NOT to work.

However, there is one old sportswriter who is having a career year. T.J. Simers of the LA Times has been masterful. His running feud with “Tubbo” Los Angeles Dodgers center fielder Andruw Jones has been sheer genius. Now, Simers may have topped that. He actually managed to get a good quote out of surly Dodgers second baseman Jeff Kent.

JEFF KENT

Getting Jeff Kent to say something remotely interesting or funny (intentional or not) is no easy task. In fact, it hasn’t been done until now and this is Kent’s 20th season in professional baseball. In his latest column Simers lauds Kent who has been unpopular with his teammates his entire career (Barry Bonds, for instance, HATED Kent.)

Simers got Kent to open up about exactly why he has been so unliked by his peers despite a borderline Hall of Fame career:

 

 

 

“I don’t hang out with the guys — never have. I don’t go out drinking, look at porn, have a girlfriend or get divorced — so I’m selfish.”

 

 

How awesome is that! Jeff Kent maintains the reason he is unpopular is he is faithful to his wife and doesn’t like porn. Congrats to T.J. Simers for pulling THAT quote.

 

T.J. SIMERS

MINI SEX TAPE STAR HITS THE LINKS

July 30, 2008