Archive for the ‘religion’ Category

DWYANE WADE BUYS HIS MOTHER HER OWN CHURCH

May 21, 2008

DWYANE WADE AT RIBBON-CUTTING CEREMONIES FOR HIS MOM’S NEW CHURCH

The story of Dwyane Wade’s mother has been told often. Over the course of her life, the NBA superstar’s mother has been primarily known as an inmate, a fugitive, a drug user and drug seller. She was such a crackhead she couldn’t spell “Dwayne” on a birth certificate.

Mrs. Wade has turned her life around. Not only has she been clean and sober for seven years, but she is now a minister. Dwyane Wade says it’s his mother who’s the real hero:

 

“I respect my mother so much, from the life that she used to live and to see her today in the life that she lives. I’m so proud of her. Everybody thinks I’m the miraculous story in the family. I think she is. I think what I’ve done means I’ve been very blessed, but she’s been more than blessed. She’s been anointed.”

 

CRAZED HARLEM MINISTER CALLS OPRAH, OBAMA AND JEREMIAH WRIGHT THE “TRINITY OF HELL.” BONUS: SAYS OBAMA STAYED AT WRIGHT’S CHURCH BECAUSE THEY WERE HOMOSEXUAL LOVERS

May 14, 2008

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SLUTBUCKS? NEW LOGO HAS CHRISTIAN GROUP OUTRAGED

May 10, 2008

 

 

 

NEW STARBUCKS LOGO

The new logo on Starbucks coffee cups has drawn outrage from a Christian group called “The Resistance.”

The group is calling for a nationwide boycott of Starbucks by all Christians.

In a press release, the group claims:

Starbucks has recently introduced a new version of their logo which features a topless mermaid with her legs spread, which has caused outrage from a nation wide Christian media watchdog organization. The Resistance, with has over 3000 members nationwide, is boycotting Starbucks across the country saying their new logo is inappropriate.

The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute, explains Mark Dice, founder of the group. Need I say more? It’s extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves, Slutbucks.

Dice and his group had previously criticized Duke basketball for their use of the term “Blue Devils” implying the name meant they were in league with Satan.

Actually, he may have a point on that one.

Dice says Starbucks is leading our nation to its demise:

The woman is actually a siren, not a mermaid, which in Greek mythology lures people to them with their beautiful songs, and then kills them, explains Dice.

Starbucks had no OFFICIAL response to the group’s proposed boycott.

DID JESUS APPEAR IN AN ULTRASOUND?

April 29, 2008

An Ohio woman is claiming an image of Jesus appeared in her ultra sound pictures.

FORMER TEEN TENNIS STAR NOW A NUN

April 20, 2008

ANDREA JAEGER

Sports fans from the 80’s will no doubt remember former teen tennis protege Andrea Jaeger.

Jaeger was ranked as high as the World’s # 2 female tennis player at the age of 16. She made the finals of Wimbledon and the French Open as a teenager. Jaeger won 11 professional tennis tournaments and made over $ 1 million on tour. She made millions more in endorsements.

Jaeger’s career ended early (1987) after a shoulder injury. Following her retirement, Jaeger devoted her life to charity and public service. Eventually she became a Anglican Dominican nun.

A British tabloid yesterday carried a feature on Jaeger. It’s entitled, “Why I Became a Nun.” Jaeger denies being a teen burn-out but says she never enjoyed life as a professional tennis player.

Jaeger also says she’s given away all her money but “has never been happier.”

“I had millions of dollars. I had a Mercedes Benz at 17. Who needs a Mercedes Benz at 17? I sold it at 19 and gave the money away and used it to buy toys for kids in hospitals. My parents were shocked. For six months they thought I was joking. I put all my tennis earnings into the foundation. I had enough that I didn’t ever have to work again but now I don’t have any left.”

Jaeger also says she gets a fullfillment out of her charity work that she never could have gotten from tennis:

 “If you’ve brought joy to a child, or protected them in their need, if you’ve lent a hand and put them under your wing, for me there’s nothing that compares.”

IS IT A SIN TO BUY SCALPED TICKETS TO SEE THE POPE?

April 13, 2008

 

What’s the hottest ticket in the U.S.?

It’s duckets to see the Pope on his upcoming trip to the United States.

Pope Benedict XVI is making his first American visit starting next Tuesday. The Pope will make a five-day visit to New York and Washington D.C. The trip is being hailed as a “once in a lifetime opportunity” and tickets for the Pope’s Mass at National’s Park in Washington on Thursday are being described as “impossible to buy.”

In fact, the official position put out by the Archdiocese of Washington is SCALPING PASSES FOR THE EVENT IS NOT ONLY ILLEGAL, BUT A SIN. 

The Catholic Church has also written sites like Craigslist ordering them to remove items for scalped Papal tickets.

The Church has even come up with a website for the Pope’s  upcoming visit:

 

http://www.uspapalvisit.org/

REVEREND “GODDAMN AMERICA” GETS SWEET RETIREMENT PACKAGE

March 28, 2008

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Barack Obama’s controversial reverend, Jeremiah Wright, has received a new house as part of a retirement package.

The church built Wright his $ 1.6 million house and took out a $10 million line of credit with the mortgage.

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SAN FRANCISCO: HOME OF EASTER “HUNKY JESUS” COMPETITION

March 24, 2008

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Hunky Jesus #1

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Hunky Jesus # 2 (with un-Christlike cig & sunglasses)

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Hunky Jesus # 3

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Hunky Jesus # 4 (with gay entourage)

CRAZY PREACHER RAILS AGAINST GOVERNMENT GENOCIDE OF AFRICAN AMERICANS

March 23, 2008

Except this time the religious figure accusing the American Government of a “plot to exterminate the Negro Race” is tv minister, Rod Parsley.

Parsley is the “spiritual advisor” of U.S. Senator and Republican presidential candidate, John McCain.

I wonder when the 2 hour Fox News story on this guy is going to air?

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SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND BASEBALL

March 15, 2008

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 New York Times writer, Murray Chass, is tired of all this Jesus nonsense.

Writing in yesterday’s Times, Chass called for a “seperation of church and baseball.” He also questions whether baseball “Faith Nights” are really all about money.

Chass was particularly critical of the Lerner family which owns the Washington Nationals.

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Probably because the Lerners continue to allow “Faith Night” at their ballpark despite the fact they’re Jewish.

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Rather than promoting ALL faiths, these events promote only an evangelical brand of Christianity.

Although the Lerners refused to be interviewed for the article, a club spokesperson did comment,

“Our purpose was to garner ticket sales,” said Chartese Burnett, the vice president for communications of the Washington Nationals. “It had nothing to do with faith.”

Instead, Chass says it’s all about money.

The Nationals sold 3,000 extra tickets for their game with the Cardinals when they held Faith Night, charging an additional $10 for a postgame concert. Chass asks whether the Lerners really need the money that badly.

Frankly, I think we pretty much passed the point of no return in the “Is-baseball-overcommercializing-region?” debate when they came up with the Christ Bobblehead.

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Or maybe it was the Red Sox Yarmulke:

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Chass concludes, “Why should teams be in the business of promoting any particular religion? The idea has caught on in baseball because clubs want to sell tickets. That’s why Major League Baseball will never halt faith nights. Anything for a few dollars more. But it has no place in baseball. Baseball crowds are made up of people of all faiths and no faith. No segment should be singled out.”