TOP 10 DALLAS COWBOY ARRESTS OF ALL-TIME

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Reports this weekend indicate that the Dallas Cowboys are at least thinking of acquiring miscreant defensive back, Pacman Jones, from the Tennessee Titans.

Jones has had more legal problems than almost any other player in the history of the National Football League.

Here’s his mugshot from Las Vegas:

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Jones’ exact role in a Las Vegas strip club shooting,  during N.B.A. All-Star weekend,  last year has not yet been determined.

Though now suspended by the NFL, Pacman has openly campaigned for a job with the Cowboys.

Fantastic!

If the Cowboys acquire the biggest scumbag in the league, maybe I can go back to hating them like the Dallas teams of my youth.

Growing up, I wasn’t like other kids.  I didn’t have a favorite team.  We moved around too much for me to form any particular allegiance. Instead, my favorite team each week was WHOEVER WAS PLAYING THE DALLAS COWBOYS. That’s how much I hated them!

In fact, I can remember the exact moment I began hating the Dallas Cowboys. It was a Thanksgiving in the 70’s and I was watching the old CBS pregame show, “The NFL Today,” with Brent Musberger, Irv Cross and Phyllis George.

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(look: old school racist Jimmy “The Greek”)

During the pregame show, Phyllis George, was interviewing the Cowboys coach, Tom Landry.

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During the interview Landry said something that I’ll never forget. He looked her right in the eye and said, “Phyllis, you have to believe in Jesus Christ to play for the Dallas Cowboys.”

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Well, even as an 11-year-old I was cynical enough to think “what a load of crap!” I was just starting to read the newspaper every day and it seemed not a week went by without some member of this God Squad getting arrested for some particularly sleazy, heinous crime.  I mean,  I don’t know much about What-Would-Jesus-Do? but I’ll tell you what He WOULDN’T do.  Jesus wouldn’t be in the paper with a story about how He “sexually assaulted a paraplegic minor” like Cowboys defensive star “Hollywood” Henderson. And He certainly wouldn’t write a book later about why the reason He did the “bad thing” to the little girl in the wheelchair was because He was high on FREAKIN’ COCAINE.

So, in honor of Pacman Jones and those Cowboys of my youth:

The Top 10 Dallas Cowboy Arrests of All-Time:

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10. Rafael Septien: January 22, 1987 Former Cowboys kicker, Rafael Septien, was indicted in Dallas County, Texas on a charge of “indecency with a child.” He was accused of having sex with a 10-year-old girl. The charges were later ammendended to “aggravated child molestation.” On April 9th of that year Septien pled guilty to a single charge of “indecency with a child.” And what type of sentence did the now-convicted child molester get? Probation. Don’t forget, this was Dallas County (the court did fine Septien a whopping $ 2,000). That’s right, Septien didn’t spend a single day in jail for being convicted of molesting a child.

At least the kicker felt enough remorse to flee the country. He moved to Mexico after the conviction. (Cancun, in case you were thinking of making a trip. Probably best to leave the kids at home.) Too bad the folks in the Dallas County Prosecutor’s Office were incapable of feeling the same amount of shame. The country would be better off if Septien had taken them with him.

This whole story sickens me, so let’s just move on.

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9. Dwayne Goodrich: January 15, 2003 On the evening of Jan. 14 , 2003 , defensive back Dwayne Goodrich, an active member of the Cowboys at the time, was arrested on two counts of vehicular manslaughter. Apparently these two guys:

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saw a burning vehicle on the side of the road of a Dallas freeway.  The good samaritans pulled over to help and rushed to pull the driver out of the burning vehicle. Unfortunately, before they could heroically rescue the man from the burning car, Goodrich plowed into them with his silver BMW doing 110 mph killing the would be do-gooders. He then fled the scene of the crime before being arrested the next day.

Additional charges were later added. On Sept. 8, 2003 Goodrich was convicted on two counts of vehicular homicide and sentenced to seven and a half years in prison. In 2006 prosecutor’s and the victims families were successful in lobbying to add five more years to Goodrich’s sentence.

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8. Larry Bethea: August 1987 This former Cowboys defensive lineman was arrested and later convicted of stealing $ 64,000 from his own mother. Amazingly, Bethea is one of TWO Dallas Cowboys who were accused of stealing their mothers life savings!

While on probation for that crime, Bethea, a former first round draft pick by the Cowboys,  killed himself in 1987. Apparently he spent all of mom’s money and police were coming to arrest him for a pair of armed robberies. Bethea shot himself in the head.

But hey, he played for Tom Landry, so at least he believed in Jesus.

7. Dexter Clinkscale 1998 They say in politics you never want to get caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. That explains the end of former Cowboys defensive back, Dexter Clinkscale’s, budding political career before it ever really got started. Clinkscale was arrested for having sexual relations and molesting an 18-year-old “boy” in 1998. That put an immediate end to him running for political office in Texas but didn’t prevent him from being named the director of sports for the Reverend Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow/PUSH coalition. (and lecturing Major League Baseball about the IMMORALITY of their hiring practices.)

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6. Harvey Martin  August 13, 1996 After “smoking crack all evening” this former end on the “Doomsday Defense” was arrested for domestic violence. It was the former Dallas star’s third arrest in five months. All involved beating a woman. He eventually took a plea deal on domestic violence and cocaine charges and was sentenced to eight months of rehab. He died on Christmas Eve 2001.

Here’s the grave of the most prolific woman beater and crack smoker in Dallas Cowboys history:

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5. Bob Hayes 1978 A couple of years after his playing career ended, former Cowboys star receiver Bob Hayes was arrested for distributing cocaine. Hayes was so fast he is reputed to be the reason NFL teams came up with zone defenses. 

A true sports pioneer, Hayes was the first track star to make the transition to professional football.

He also had another pioneering distinction. “Bullet” Bob was the first world-famous athlete who was convicted of being a drug dealer. Hayes went to prison in April 1979 after he was caught personally delivering cocaine to an undercover police officer. Apparently being “The World’s Fastest Human” wasn’t enough for him to outrun the long arm of the law.

Bob Hayes once held the world record for the 100 yard dash. He actually ran it in  9.1 seconds (and this was in the 1960’s!)

Here’s Hayes as an American hero after winning an Olympic Gold Medal:

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Hayes died on September 18, 2002 and is the only coke dealer in the Dallas Cowboys “Ring of Honor.”  So far.

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4. Lance Rentzel 1970 This former star wide receiver was arrested for exposing himself to a 10-year-old girl. When he was arrested, Rentzel was married to actress Joey Heatherton (arguably one of the world’s most beautiful women at the time.)

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I’ve  been pretty careful so far to source and link a lot of references while writing this post.  On this one, what’s the point? Rentzel himself tried to capitalize on the incident and wrote a really horrible book about it.

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Besides, who could make up a story like this???? I can only imagine the conversation Rentzel had with himself that fateful day:

Lance Rentzel: “Hmmm. What should I do today? Go inside the house and hit this…”

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or Lance Rentzel: “Nah, I think I’ll go bother the neighbor’s kid.”

Heatherton divorced Rentzel shortly after the episode.

Rentzel actually had the nerve to whine about how the public “perceived” him and how unfair it was for the Cowboys to release him. He told Sport magazine, “There are parts of it…like the hate mail. And the Lance Rentzel jokes: I’ve heard them all.  And it hurts, because as I’ve said many times, I feel like I have some good qualities too.”

Gimme a break! Dude pulled out his Little Lance in front of a ten-year-old girl! What are his nice qualities? He’s nice to puppies (before he molests them.)

Besides it’s been way too long since I’ve heard a good Lance Rentzel joke.

Here’s a couple of facts I bet you didn’t know:

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His parents named famed cyclist Lance Armstrong after famed pervert Lance Rentzel.

Joey Heatherton and Lance Rentzel were promoted as the “All American Couple.” In fact, they even briefly had their own network tv variety show. Heatherton’s co-host on the show was Don Knotts.

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Finally, despite being one of the most famous sexual deviants in the country, Rentzel later got tv megastar, Victoria Principal, to date him. 

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I guess she doesn’t read much. Ironically, Principal starred in the tv show “Dallas.”

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3. Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson November 8, 1983 In November of 1983 colorful former Cowboys linebacker Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson was arrested for smoking crack with two under-aged teenage girls. He was accused of threatening them with a gun and sexually assaulting them. Henderson claims he gave the girls crack in exchange for consensual sex. One of the girls was described as a “paraplegic minor.” He pled “no contest’ and received a sentence of eight months in rehab then spent two years in prison.

Henderson says his “Hollywood” persona died on that November day in 1983. Since then he has devoted his life to charity and community service work. Henderson even won the Texas lottery in 2000 taking home $ 28 million.

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Nate Newton develops sudden case of the munchies

2. Nate Newton November 4, 2001 Looking to expand his employment opportunities following his career as a hefty NFL offensive lineman, Nate Newton was arrested with 213 ponds of marijuana in his car. That alone would be impressive enough but FIVE WEEKS LATER he was caught transporting another 175 pounds of weed.

After his jail sentence Nate Newton became a sports talk show host. Of course.

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1. Michael Irvin March 4, 1996 The most famous Cowboy arrest of them all! (Like there was any doubt who was going to end up # 1 on this list!) Actually, Irvin would likely have multiple spots here but I tried to spread the wealth.

In March of 1996 police burst through the door of Irvin’s hotel room. He was celebrating his 30th birthday and as police poured into the room Irvin was apparently snorting cocaine off of a stripper’s breast.

After a circus trial (which Irvin attended wearing a full-length mink coat) “The Playmaker” eventually plead “no contest” and was sentenced to community service, and ordered to pay a $ 10,000 fine .

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35 Responses to “TOP 10 DALLAS COWBOY ARRESTS OF ALL-TIME”

  1. Cowboys go to jail « Speaking In Tongue Sports Says:

    [...] sordid history of troublemakers than the Cowboys. Mike Responts: The Blog features a list of the top 10 Cowboys arrests of all-time. No doubt, this was a hard list to compile, not in that it was tough to come up with 10 but rather [...]

  2. A little something for Giants and Eagles fans « The Cranford Pundit. Says:

    [...] Since hatred of the Cowboys is one thing that unites Giants and Eagles fans (in this instance, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.) I thought I’d share this troubling list about the Cowboys. [...]

  3. Pacman Jonesin’ « Speaking In Tongue Sports Says:

    [...] of course, fits in with the Cowboys history, given their long history of arrests. And it also shows where Jerry Jones’ head is these days: he wants to win. [...]

  4. ANNIVERSARY « Mike Responts: The Blog Says:

    [...] http://mikeresponts.wordpress.com/2008/03/10/top-10-dallas-cowboy-arrests-of-all-time/ [...]

  5. All NFL Criminal Team - Page 3 - Sports Outlaw Fantasy Football Forums Says:

    [...] Whoot – Whoot Go Cowboys Found this site the other day. Mikes gotta love this TOP 10 DALLAS COWBOY ARRESTS OF ALL-TIME Mike Responts: The Blog [...]

  6. » The top 10 Dallas Cowboy arrests of all timeHouston DieHards Says:

    [...] Diehards reader Ali for finding this little gem of a blog entry. Check out this blogger’s Top 10 Dallas Cowboy Arrests. Great list, with the appropriate #1. My only issue with the list is that the guy at #10, Rafael [...]

  7. Nan Carnagey Says:

    People become Christians because they are sinners. Christ does not enforce good behavior. However, I do agree that the Cowboys should not tolerate such blatantly heinous behavior.

    Pacman Jones should be limited playing Pacman!

  8. G.T. Says:

    This isn’t just a indictment of the Dallas Cowboys, but an indictment of all professional sports. Their antics off the field isn’t exonerated by their play on the field. If people are really tired of this, they should try getting another hobby other than watching sports, purchasing sports memorabilia, and going to the games. Once the well of these bad-boys dries up, maybe they can make a decent living, or do what they do best, be thugs.

  9. mexican recipes Says:

    just think how good the cowboys would have been if these guys were clean…this year our team will be just as good as those early 90s team!

  10. taylor Says:

    So many celebrities are involved in drugs but I was shocked when I came to know that Irvin was also involved in drugs usage.
    ——————–
    Taylor

    Crack Cocaine

  11. Geoffrey Says:

    Wow, your hatred for one team just shows typical bias and I’m sure other teams have worse.

  12. TERESA Says:

    I LOVE MY COWBOYS I WAS RAISED A COWBOY FAN ,,,BUT THE ONES THAT ARE SICK THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING JUST BECAUSE THE WEAR A COWBOY JERSEY THEY PUT THE REST OF THE GOOD COWBOYS FROM THERE DISGRACE ALL OF THOSE MEN ARE SICK AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENEND TO THEM MONEY CAN BUY YOU OUT OF JAIL ,,YOU MOLEST A INNOCENT CHILD AND MONEY GETS YOU OUT AND NO PUNISHMENT WE HAVE GREAT LAWYERS AND JUDGES IN DALLAS TEXAS ..THEY GOT OFF EASY …DID ANY BODY THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN THAT THIS MEN HURT AND WILL NOW SUFFER DAMAGE DUE TO THERE SO CALLED ONE TIME PULLING OUT THERE LITTLE PENISES THAT THAY HAD TO GO AFTER A CHILD THAT LOOKED UP TO THEM ….WHAT A SHAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Obligatory Dallas is Going Down (Smack Talkin') Thread - Page 2 - SLUniverse Forums Says:

    [...] Originally Posted by Dancien Graves Oh, the Skins get to play with the Eagles Yay for 4-1 …and who do the Cowboys play next…let’s hope the whole team makes it to the game: TOP 10 DALLAS COWBOY ARRESTS OF ALL-TIME Mike Responts: The Blog [...]

  14. lewp Says:

    I don’t believe Landry ever said you have to believe in jesus Christ to play for the Cowboys….that is the most made up shit I’ve ever heard. Hate the Cowboys if you like, but you don’t have to lie about Cowboy stories. There is plenty of factual stories to hate them enough.

  15. Gene Says:

    Well, I believe in Jesus, Tom Landry, America, Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and well, Chevrolet. So go suck an egg, Cowboys hater.

    Nicely done article, by the way. Well written.

  16. Eaglerob Says:

    Interesting, very interesting. Since so many Cowboys enjoy gloating about the past, makes me wonder if they look so kindly upon this as well.

  17. kelly Says:

    DUDE YOU SUCK! AND YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS OF THE COWBOYS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IS! I AM SURE ALL FOOTBALL TEAMS HAVE DRAMA BUT WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO GET POINTED OUT FOR IT! I AM SICK OF YOU COWBOY HATERS WHO HAVE NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO THAN SIT BACK AND JUDGE AMERICAS TEAM!! THATS RIGHT I SAID IT — AMERICAS TEAM! GO DALLAS!!!!!

  18. sam taranto Says:

    Most of the NFL players are decent guys who are honorable like most people.. Sadly, scumbags like the above mentioned Cowboy criminals taint the rest of the league… The comments Landry made that to be a Dallas Cowboy one has to BELIEVE IN JESUS is rather funny… I am sure Tom did not intend that to include perverts like Rentzel and other bad guys.

  19. Oh Really Says:

    Hey…. Let’s make alcohol usage illegal again….. then you and your self-righteous friends can be arrested an do jail time for transporting moonshine…. LOVE to see the shoe on the other foot !

  20. westbnksaint Says:

    I love football and always been a Saints fan,but I never really started hatein the cowpussies till I moved to Texas scince katrina and met Micheal Irvin.This guy is truly an A$$HOLE.I met Deon though he was pretty cool.

  21. Robert Hayes Says:

    You can choose any team any sport and find a person who has failed the high standers of professional sports. To pick one out and give that as a reason why you hate them, is probably an excuse for hating them to begin with. If you don’t like the team team, just say so, otherwise, list the players that have played for teams who have homerun records, gold medals,rushing yards, throwing yards, ect who never got arrested. Bret fare played football and started every game and his stats still stand and he self addmited to be addicted to pain pilss and all the while he played. Re-do your arrest list and and include all 32 teams.

  22. mikev14x Says:

    Now that you have a list. Let’s see maybe they lied about their beliefs and morals….possibly that type of person maybe that devious perhaps. To get a better look at them look at where they were born and raised and you may find out something more about them. You can’t blame an innocent man or city for their lies and deceit. We had that trash on our teams and still kicked rear. I still believe in America’s Team. You know why we have to have a retractible roof right???? So, God can watch his favorite team….lol. Being someone that hates one team instead of loving one just shows your depth as a person.

  23. Rick Says:

    The Blogger has three kids that are retarted bacause the mother is his mom.

  24. Rick Says:

    Hey Westbanksaint, Saints are a pisspot franchise 103 games under .500 in their history.

  25. Rick Says:

    Larry Bethea had a drug problem and those people are sick. He ended up killing himself. Sad story. Don’t buy your mother crotchless panties blogger.

  26. Rick Says:

    You took a picture of Martins’ grave? lol Sounds like a major hater! lol Dallas is gonna spank your teams ass silly in the future loser! lol

  27. danielle Says:

    Hey just found this site- cracking me up
    was there once a kicker named Matt something- Italian
    screwed up his back and lives in the Cali Desert?
    Thanks- new fan

  28. juan Says:

    What do you call a dallas cowboy’s huddle? A drug ring. Ha Ha

  29. Tex Says:

    Gee, I guess you all long for the “Good ol’ days” when your sports heroes were just alcoholic womanizers and adulterers….. You’ll never get those “days” back suckas !!

  30. Herb Wilson Says:

    The Dallas Criminals…..hehe

  31. D.R. Brewster Says:

    I have been a Dallas Cowboys fan since 1965 and will not dispute any of the major facts, EXCEPT ONE:
    TOM LANDRY NEVER SAID, “… you have to believe in Jesus Christ to play for the Dallas Cowboys.”
    That Tom Landry’s favorite players were believers may be true. I don’t think he ever said it out loud, but wouldn’t be surprised if he did. You either mis-heard or misunderstood what was said. He was well-aware of players who were not believers…and how they lived.
    Additionally, Dwayne Goodrich, never played for Landry. If you want a long list of Dallas Cowboys players who were in trouble with the law, start with Jimmy Johnson and finish with Bill Parcells. Things were worst under Barry Switzer (he actually tried to bring a gun on-board a plane).
    Don’t be confused. Dallas is not the champ when it comes to players with criminal records. The Worst: Vikings (who drafted Lance Rentzal and traded him to Dallas after a similar incident in MN and had an major incident on a boat that involved several players among many other problems), Bengals, Dolphins, and Raiders. There may be others, but these teams have had more than others.

  32. Darek Marcel Eaves Says:

    Wow they are in Texas what do you expect?

  33. Marty Bigdaddy Sytek Says:

    UPSTANING CITIZENS

  34. Guy Coleman Says:

    Do you really think that as a cowboy fan that i give a flying f33k about what they do off of the field?They are adults just like you and i.What they do with their lives is not my business or yours you peice of garbage.You should be allowed to dwell in other peoples lives like you do.Get a life and leave these people alone.

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