Thank God. One of the worst ideas and most embarrassing themed venues in Las Vegas history will finally come to a merciful end in just a couple of weeks. The Las Vegas Hilton is closing Star Trek: The Experience.
From the start, this was a stupid idea.
After all, it’s an entire themed attraction based around Star Trek geeks. And unless your idea of fun was watching drunk Trekkies,
Or finding a place where you can actually speak Klingon to somebody who’s pathetic enough to dress up like a Star Trek character every day,
Star Trek: The Experience sucked! (Actually, still sucks. It won’t officially close for good until September 1st.)
That won’t be soon enough. Frankly, I can’t remember a more awful attraction. Even loyal Star Trek enthusiasts thought the place was a ripoff. Here’s an online review from one of the well-known travel websites:
“I am a Star Trek fan – and dragged my family (husband and 16 year old son) to this ‘experience’…and had to apologise afterwards for wasting their time. Never mind it costs $40 each just for the basic experience – it’s just exploitation.”
And that’s from a Star Trek “fan.” Actually, the price was raised to $42.99. That’s for two “rides” and a tour of Star Trek memorabilia. Plus another 15 bucks if you wanted visual proof for your friends that you’ve never had sex with a woman. That’s how much the Hilton charged for you to get your picture taken sitting in the “captain’s chair” on the set of the fake Enterprise.
The only way the place stayed open THIS long without going out of business was it had a bar.
The bar served giant, smoking drinks with about ten shots of booze in each one. That wasn’t enough.
If you had enough giant drinks you could hit on girls who looked like this:
Unfortunately, by the time you shelled out $42.99 on the ticket, $15 on a picture and $20 a drink, you probably spent enough money that you could have gotten a Vegas hooker to come to your door. For the same amount of money I’m sure she would have gladly painted her body green and had sex with you (all the while spanking your ass and calling you Captain Kirk.)
Now THAT’S a Star Trek Experience that I could endorse.