BALDING KEPT MAN TIM HASSELBECK
Former NFL and Boston College quarterback Tim Hasselbeck has been hired as an NFL analyst by ESPN. Hasselbeck, who is married to television personality Elisabeth Hasselbeck of “The View,” replaces Sean Salisbury. I guess Stoney Case wasn’t available.
Hasselbeck fits the Salisbury mold in that he sucked as an NFL quarterback. Unlike Salisbury, Hasselbeck is reportedly a great guy. That’s probably how he stuck around the NFL despite the fact that he hasn’t completed a pass in a regular season game since 2003. Think of that. Hasselbeck was a professional NFL quarterback drawing a paycheck every week and he didn’t even ATTEMPT a pass for four seasons.
Hasselbeck got into 1 game with the Arizona Cardinals in 2007. He ran the ball once for minus one yard. Hasselbeck also played with the New York Giants in 2005. He never attempted a pass but ran for minus three yards.
Worse, he’s married to right-wing hottie/Nazi Elisabeth Hasselbeck and openly credits her for helping him in his tv career. That’s right, everything he learned about tv he got from Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I guess that means we can look forward to Tim Hasselbeck crying on the set this year.