Archive for June, 2008

KERRY WOOD IS #1

June 29, 2008

CHICAGO CUBS PITCHER KERRY WOOD ON SATURDAY’S FOX BROADCAST AGAINST THE WHITE SOX

BIGGEST DOUCHE IN BASEBALL PLACED ON D.L. FOR DRUNKENNESS

June 29, 2008

ALBERTO CALLASPO

Alberto Callaspo is probably the biggest jerk in baseball. The Kansas City Royals light-hitting utility infielder was arrested Friday and charged with DUI. Last year he was charged with domestic violence after assaulting his wife.

Sure, you’re thinking, lots of professional athletes beat their wives. So what?

Unfortunately, Callaspo’s case was unique. Callaspo actually STABBED HIS WIFE IN THE FACE with a knife. When the Arizona Diamondbacks tried to suspend Callaspo without pay the union stepped in and ordered Callaspo reinstated with his full salary. Callaspo then literally bullied his wife into dropping the charges and the case was dismissed. The couple is still together.

Tired of his act, the Diamondbacks traded Callaspo to Kansas City in the offseason. Callaspo was arrested 4:30 Friday morning after running a red light and charged with DUI. 

In 99 cases out of 100 I always side with players in their disputes with management. Here’s the one case where you can call me “old fashioned.” Callaspo is a ridiculously awful human being. Plus HE SUCKS. Callaspo is a career .245 hitter. In three seasons he has exactly ZERO career homers. In fact, his home run percentage is the worst of every player in Major League Baseball.

Call me crazy but couldn’t you get someone who HASN’T stabbed their wife in the face to hit zero home runs?

Originally the team was going to do nothing to Callaspo. He was actually in uniform for Kansas City on Friday after spending the night in a drunk tank. In fact, following Callaspo’s arrest, Royals GM Dayton Moore said,

 

“…we’re very supportive of getting him through this tough time.”

 

 

Saturday the Royals changed their minds. They placed Callaspo on the disabled list with “an unspecified medical condition.” Yeah, it’s called terminal stupidity.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY: “FEMA INSPECTOR ASSAULTS FLOOD ZONE RESIDENT”

June 29, 2008

Police in Iowa say a FEMA inspector has been charged with assault after hitting a flood victim with a golf club. The incident happened at 11:30 Saturday morning in Cedar Rapids.

According to the police report, the FEMA inspector nearly hit a Cedar Rapids man with his car. When the man said, “Slow down!” the government worker responded,

 

“I don’t have to slow down, I’m with FEMA!”

The FEMA worker then stopped the car and jumped out. An argument ensued. The FEMA worker went back to his car, pulled out a golf club and struck the man (breaking the golf club.)

LEGENDARY TENNIS QUEEN MARRIES LEGENDARY GOLF CHOKER

June 29, 2008

GREG NORMAN AND CHRIS EVERT

Chris Evert and Greg Norman were married in the Bahamas this weekend. It is the second marriage for both.

U.S. OLYMPIC TEAM DEBUTS NEW SPEEDO SWIMWEAR

June 29, 2008

U.S. OLYMPIC SWIM TRIALS SATURDAY

SUIT FROM SPEEDO WEBSITE

 

KATE ZIEGLER

 

AMERICAN PLAYER UP FOR SPOT ON RUSSIAN OLYMPIC BASKETBALL TEAM

June 29, 2008

TRAVIS HANSEN

Former BYU basketball player Travis Hansen says it’s always been his dream to play in the Olympics.

Hansen may soon get a chance to make that dream come true. If he plays for Russia. Hansen spent one year of professional basketball with the NBA’s Atlanta Hawks. For the rest of his career the 30-year-old Hansen has bounced around Europe. Recently he was invited by Russia to try out for their Olympic basketball team.

Obviously, with superstars like Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and other dreamteamers representing Team USA, Hansen wasn’t going to be selected for the American Olympic squad. Instead, Hansen accepted the invitation from the Russian team to represent their country in the Olympics. Said Hansen,

 

“I’d love to play for Team USA but they didn’t invite me. Every athlete dreams about playing in the Olympics,” Hansen said. “The Cold War ended a long time ago, so I figured why not.”

 

BECKY HAMMON

Hansen’s case is similar to that of WNBA player Becky Hammon. Hammon, the runner-up in last year’s WNBA MVP voting, was passed over for a spot on Team USA. Instead, she’s playing for Russia in the upcoming Olympics. Hammon has received a ton of criticism for being “unpatriotic.” Originally from Rapid City, South Dakota, she grew up in America’s heartland.

U.S. Olympic coach Anne Donovan recently blasted Hammon,

 

 

“If you play in this country, live in this country and you grow up in the heartland – and you put on a Russian uniform – you are not a patriotic person.”

 

Hammon compounded the situation by becoming a Russian citizen. There have even been articles written which detail Hammon being called a “traitor.”

Travis Hansen hasn’t been the victim of any such difficulty. Apparently nobody knows who he is. He also still hasn’t made the final roster of the Russian squad.

 

AMAZING VIDEO OF BALL GIRL CATCH-IS IT REAL?

June 29, 2008

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DAILY AMY: SINGER AMY WINEHOUSE PUNCHES FAN GOES ON “WARPATH”

June 29, 2008

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AMY WINEHOUSE STRIKES A FAN ON TAPE

AMY WINEHOUSE SPITS GUM ON AUDIENCE

The British Tabloid The Sun says troubled singer Amy Winehouse “tainted what should have been a magical comeback” by going on a rampage Friday.

According to the Sun,  Winehouse punched a fan, spit into the crowd and called Kanye West a c**t while onstage at a Glastonbury performance.

The Sun also has this priceless description of fans actually booing Winehouse on stage:

 

But things turned sour when she spoke about hubby Blake coming out of jail and fans booed.

Amy defended him, saying: “Don’t boo. I’ll find your phone and ring your mum and tell them about your bad manners. Manners cost you nothing.”

She then rambled on about never having loved a white man before, adding: “When Blake came along he bashed me over the head with a cricket bat. Not literally.”

 

Great! How awesome is it to have the Amy Winehouse lecturing people on manners?

Winehouse was recently released from a London hospital after being diagnosed as being in the early stages of emphysema. Another London tabloid reported the singer now has medics standing by at all her performances.

WINEHOUSE AT GLASTONBURY PERFORMANCE FRIDAY

 

PACQUIAO WINS TITLE AT FOURTH WEIGHT CLASS

June 29, 2008

MANNY PACQUIAO KNOCKS OUT DAVID DIAZ IN THE NINTH ROUND

Manny Pacquiao made a big statement Saturday night in Las Vegas.

Pacquiao made his case to be recognized as the best boxer in the world with an impressive ninth round knockout of David Diaz. With the win Pacquiao claims the WBC lightweight title. It is Pacquiao’s fifth title in four weight classes.

Diaz, the losing fighter, was certainly impressed. After the fight Diaz said,

 

“Did anybody get the number off that truck?” and “His punches are just too fast.”

 

The only thing disappointing about Pacquiao’s performance was the size of the crowd. An announced crowd of 8,350 was at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. After the fight Steve Cofield of Yahoo! Sports says promoter Bob Arum blamed George Bush for the fight’s poor attendance. Arum railed against the “Bush economy.”

Naturally, Arum’s chief rival in life and boxing, Don King, is an ardent Bush supporter.

 

VENUS WILLIAMS HITS FASTEST SERVE EVER BY A WOMAN AT WIMBLEDON

June 28, 2008

VENUS WILLIAMS

American tennis player Venus Williams won her third round match at Wimbledon today. The four-time champion’s last serve was clocked at 127 mph.