El Guapo is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The fattest pitcher in the history of professional baseball signed a contract yesterday with the Nashua Pride of the independent Can-Am League.

In the understatement of the millenium, Pride General Manager, Chris Hall, said,

Having Rich back is so exciting for us, especially the fans and the sponsors.”

YOU BET the sponsors are happy! I’m sure doughnut shops throughout the greater Nashua area are lining up for this guy’s endorsement:

Garces’ entry in is almost as legendary as the portly pitcher himself.

“Affectionately nicknamed ‘El Guapo’ by Fenway fans, the hefty righty signed with the Boston Red Sox in April 1996 after bouncing around several organizations. Garces mysteriously established something of a cult following in the city, and heard his name exuberantly cheered whenever he trudged out to the mound.”

All true. Except the “mysteriously” part. After all EVERYBODY LOVES A FAT GUY!

Garces compiled a 1.99 ERA on the field that season all while pushing FOUR BILLS off the field.

Garces once DISAPPEARED while pitching in the Winter League. He was found after running out of money on a Venezuelan beach ten days after his wife filed a missing person report. Garces admitted he “neglected to inform his wife of his plans.”

That’s the beauty of El Guapo.

Garces was pitching in Tijuana before signing with Nashua.

By the way, you’re probably thinking Garces’ nickname “El Guapo” has something to do with his weight like “fat” or “the pig.” Nope. You’re thinking of “El Gordo.”

“El Guapo” translated from Spanish literally means “the handsome one.”


Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: