Personally, I’d be a little reluctant to hire a financial advisor named “Nails.” 

Nevertheless, the Philadelphia Inquirer has an article that touts colorful former Mets and Phillies outfielder, Lenny Dykstra, as “a big player in the financial world.”

The paper further describes Dykstra as a “stock market guru” who lives in Wayne Gretzky’s old mansion, owns a private jet and operates a string of car washes.

HBO and Real Sports even featured Dykstra this month, leading to this unintentionally hilarious exchange with reporter, Bernard Goldberg:

Goldberg: “Is it true you once said you don’t read books because they might hurt your batting eye?”

Lenny Dykstra: “Yeah. You got to rest your eyes, man, plus it makes you think too much.”

Goldberg: “Reading?”

Dykstra: “Too confusing.”

Goldberg: “Reading?”

Dykstra: “Yeah, I still don’t like to read.”

Goldberg: “And I’m supposed to follow your investing advice?”

Dykstra: “Only if you like money.”

Dykstra has been accused of steroid use by a former business partner. His past excesses with drinking and gambling have been well documented.

Dykstra once suffered broken ribs, a broken collarbone and a broken facial bone when he crashed his Mercedes into a tree on the way home from John Kruk’s bachelor party. He was determined to be legally drunk at the time.


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