APPARENTLY EVERYBODY LOVED LUCY
I think I’m going to throw up !
The New York Daily News is one of the greatest publication in the history of the world for dishing dirt. This time though there’s so much dirt it boggles the mind and some of it I DON’T want to know.
Lucy was a whore. Elvis had gay sex. Bette Davis was a murderer. And you don’t even want to know what happened to Judy Garland.
The latest column by Rush & Molloy has a preview of the upcoming book “Hollywood Babylon: It’s Back.”
“Hollywood Armageddon” might be a more like it.
The book dishes unbelievably horrific dirt on some of the biggest tv and screen icons EVER. To quote Rush & Malloy the book’s authors “have dared to publish the pictures and stories too explicit and actionable for even the pulpiest supermarket tabloids.”
For some reason, most of the Rush & Malloy column focuses on celebrity penises. The book features a host of nude male photographs never before published. Those pictures feature full frontal nudity by a number of celebrities (more on that momentarily.) The column (and the book) also goes into great detail about which Hollywood stars have the biggest dongs.
BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW JOHNNY DEPP’S NICKNAME IS “DONKEY DICK”
Among the largest penises (literally not figuratively) in Hollywood are those belonging to Johnny Depp and Sean Connery (at least according to “Hollywood Babylon.”)
MORE LIKE DOUBLE O NINE AND A HALF
I’m sure Depp and Connery will be able to overcome the STIGMA of being labled as having incredibly large penises. Some of the other celebrities in this book may have a more difficult time.
After all, thirty years after his death, Bing Crosby is still remembered as a guy who beat his kids because of what was written in ONE book. The same thing is true for Joan “Mommy Dearest” Crawford.
And some of the details in “Hollywood Babylon” are beyond outrageous.
Among the allegations the book makes are:
Lucille Ball got her start in Hollywood as a hooker.
Meanwhile her husband, Desi Arnaz (known to millions of adoring 50′s tv fans as Ricky Ricardo on I Love Lucy), is alleged in “Hollywood Babylon” to have had a homosexual affair with actor Cesar Romero.
CESAR ROMERO: THE ORIGINAL JOKER
The alleged Arnaz/Romero homosexual affair is far from the most notorious claim in “Hollywood Babylon.”
Also, according to the book, Elvis had gay sex with 60′s tv and movie actor Nick Adams (a well-known member of Presley’s inner circle and entourage.)
There have been plenty of Hollywood stories about the legendary actor James Dean being gay or bisexual.
JAMES DEAN: THE ORIGINAL BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN COWBOY OR REBEL WITHOUT A CONSCIENCE ?
However, “Hollywood Babylon” goes into detail about Dean’s “disconcerting interest” in a 12-year-old boy in the early 50′s. Not only that, but the book has an on-the-record quote from director Elia Kazan who said he believed the allegations,
“I’ve known many actors who have been twisted up in their sex lives, but never anybody as sick and unhealthy as Dean was.”
Speaking of sick, “Hollywood Babylon” says not only was actor Cary Grant involved in gay sex,
but he had INCESTUOUS gay sex with his own stepson, Lance Reventlow.
Even sicker, the book claims somebody had sex with Judy Garland’s dead body.
That’s right. Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.
Again, some of this stuff is beyond sick.
The column also says the book accuses Bette Davis (the most decorated actress in the history of the Academy Awards) of being a murderer.
Police believed Bette Davis killed her second husband, Arthur Farnsworth, by hitting him on the head and causing a hemorrhage that lead to his death two weeks later. But a grand jury – six men who confessed to being ardent fans – found her innocent.
That is one allegation in the book that has been proven to be BASICALLY true. Police DID suspect Davis in the death and a grand jury was convened which refused to press charges. However, whether Bette Davis was guilty or not is sheer speculation by the book’s authors.
Actors and actresses aren’t the only people slimed in “Hollywood Babylon.” There’s even an item about Winston Churchill engaging in a bit of buggery with an effeminate songwriter.
I have no idea how much (if any) of the stuff in this book is true.
I do know that the authors have developed a unique strategy for establishing their credibility.
The entire credibility of the book “Hollywood Babylon” is based on celebrity penises. The book is a virtual encyclopedia of celebrity male genitalia. They have somehow tracked down AND PUBLISHED naked pictures of Mick Jagger, Daniel Radcliffe, Ewan McGregor, John Malkovich, James Woods, Richard Gere and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
Frankly, I don’t want to see ANY of these guys naked. However, if you put a gun to my head, Mick Jagger, John Malkovich and HARRY POTTER would rank pretty low on the list of celebrities whose packages I’d like to check out. What’s strange is the book seems to rely on these nude pictures to establish their credibility with the reader. They seem to be saying, “Look, if we can get these photos that noone’s ever had before then you should believe our stories that noone has heard before.”
And “Hollywood Babylon” leaves no penis unturned. Sean Connery is 77- years-old. Yet, somehow the authors managed to track down somebody who saw Connery pose as a nude college model almost 60 years ago AND GET A QUOTE,
“It was the biggest I’ve ever seen. It made me drop my charcoal pencil.”
Trust me. When this book comes out there will be even harsher reactions than that.