Posts Tagged ‘baseball’

REDS RECALL TOP PROSPECT

May 27, 2008

JAY BRUCE

The Cincinnati Reds today will recall  uberprospect Jay Bruce.

Bruce is considered by most experts as the best prospect in baseball. He was last year’s Minor League Player off the Year and is scheduled to take over as the Reds center fielder. The Reds current center fielder, Corey Patterson, has been an abysmal failure this season. He is hitting just .201 with a horrific .242 on base percentage as a leadoff hitter. The final straw for Patterson was Sunday’s extra inning loss to San Diego when he went 0-8.

Patterson probably never should have had the Reds center field job. His sole qualification was being a sycophant and favorite of current Cincinnati manager Dusty Baker. Baker’s decision to go with his buddy (the worst leadoff hitter in baseball) over a five-tool potential superstar like Bruce has been a costly one for the Reds. Cincinnati is currently in last place in the NL Central with a 23-28 record. That’s not good but the club is still hanging around. Despite their failures, the Reds are still only seven games behind the first place Chicago Cubs. It’s no stretch to imagine that lead could have been cut in half (AT LEAST) had the Reds gone with Jay Bruce in their outfield all season.

In about 1/3 of a minor league season, Bruce is hiting .364 with 10 homers and 37 RBI. Since May 3rd Bruce is hitting .456.

MCCAIN AND HILLARY RUIN THIS YEAR’S SET OF TOPPS BASEBALL CARDS

May 14, 2008

Here’s something I didn’t know-Topps (the baseball card company) actually made cards this year of the Republican and Democrat Presidential candidates. The political cards are part of their regular set of baseball cards.

And I thought THIS was the crappiest Topps card I ever got:

 I guess collecting political cards is a lot like collecting sports cards. Sometimes you get Mickey Mantle:

Sometimes you get Jerry Dybzinski:

And sometimes you get…

Well, I’m not sure who to compare Ron Paul to. Maybe Dick Pole because all I have to do is LOOK at the card and I laugh. Maybe Jose Canseco.

There was an article in the New York Times that said an autographed Barack Obama card was going for over $3,000. Meanwhile the Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson cards were going for 99 cents on e-bay.

That’s 99 cents COMBINED.

 

DOCK ELLIS NEEDS A LIVER TRANSPLANT

May 14, 2008

DOCK ELLIS ONCE WORE PINK HAIR CURLERS WHILE WARMING UP IN THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES BULLPEN

There was a sad story story in the LA Times today.

Former Major League pitcher Dock Ellis is gravely ill and has been placed on the national registry for a liver transplant. Ellis says he discovered he had  cirrhosis of the liver the day after Thanksgiving. Doctors fear without a new liver Dock Ellis will soon be dead.

Ellis, now 63 and living in California, was one of baseball’s most colorful characters during the 70’s. He famously was disciplined by Pittsburgh Pirates manager Danny Murtaugh in 1973 for wearing hair curlers on the field.

In May of 1974 Ellis vowed to bean every batter in the Cincinnati Reds lineup to start the game. Ellis hit Pete Rose, Joe Morgan and Dan Driessen with pitches. He attempted to hit Reds cleanup hitter Tony Perez on every pitch but missed. Ellis then threw two straight pitches at Johnny Bench before Murtaugh pulled him from the game.

Ellis was the National League’s starting pitcher for the 1971 All Star Game. He won 19 games for the World Champion Pittsburgh Pirates that season and lobbied for the start. Ellis wanted to face American League starter Vida Blue. That marked the first time two African American pitchers started in the All Star Game. During the game Reggie Jackson hit a monster home run. In apparent retaliation, Ellis beaned Jackson in the face.

Ellis was also the first major professional athlete to be maced. The incident happened in 1972 at Cincinnati’s Riverfront Stadium. A security guard barred Ellis from entering through the players entrance after the pitcher tried to use his World Series ring as a form of identification. It probably didn’t help Ellis that he was carrying a half-empty bottle of cheap wine at the time. An altercation ensued and the security guard maced him. Ellis cried racism. The security guard said he simply didn’t recognize him.

Of course, Ellis is most famous for being high on LSD while he pitched a no-hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates against the San Diego Padres on June 12, 1970. Ellis later claimed he was so high during the game that he couldn’t see the catcher or the batters during the game. Catcher Jerry May had to use orange reflective tape on his glove so Ellis could see the plate. Despite throwing a no-hitter and shutting out the Padres, Ellis walked eight batters in the game.

Ellis has been clean and sober since 1980. In recent years he has worked as a drug counselor.

Ellis’ book Dock Ellis in the Country of Baseball (authored by future U.S. Poet Laureate Donald Hall) is one of the most thoughtful sports biographies ever written and is still a good read 30 years after its publication.

CHICAGO WHITE SOX MANAGER OZZIE GUILLEN’S LATEST CLASSIC MELTDOWN

May 12, 2008

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NO STUBBY CLAPP

May 10, 2008

STUBBY CLAPP

Stubby Clapp is not a disease. He’s a baseball player. Although Clapp had a brief Major League career (playing 23 games for the St. Louis Cardinals in 2001) his name alone makes him a baseball immortal.

These days Clapp is a hitting coach for class A Lexington in the Houston Astros organization. Although he would never be considered an impact player, Team Canada wanted Clapp to play for them in the upcoming Beijing Olympics (despite the fact that he is now retired as an active player.) Sadly, that’s not going to happen.

Apparently the loss of Stubby Clapp would be too much for the Houston organization. The Astros DENIED Canada’s request to let Clapp miss a couple weeks to play in the Olympics. Clapp had been part of Team Canada since 1999. Canadian coach Greg Hamilton said he was disappointed,

“The Houston Astros have turned down our request for Stubby to play for us. It’s a blow. Stubby Clapp brings leadership to the team and in many ways is the face of the program.”

I believe that’s the first time that the phrases  “blow,” “Stubby Clapp,” and “face” have ever been used together. At least in a conversation about baseball.

MILWAUKEE BREWERS FANS TAUNT AND TORTURE DRUNK PASSED OUT GUY

May 9, 2008

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YANKEES/RED SOX RIVALRY RESULTS IN DEATH

May 8, 2008

GO YANKEES !

A 43-year-old New Hampshire mother is in jail after running her car into a group of Boston Red Sox fans, killing one man. Ivonne Hernandez was outside a Nashua, N.H. bar when a group of Red Sox fans began chanting, “Yankees suck! Yankees suck!” after seeing a New York Yankees bumper sticker on the back of her car. Hernandez approached the group and got into a fist-fight with a 21-year-old woman.

Following the altercation, Hernandez got into her 1997 Dodge Intrepid and tried to RUN THE GROUP OVER. Her car struck 29-year-old, Matthew Beaudoin, of Nashua killing him.

NEW YORK FAN’S MURDER WEAPON (YANKEES STICKER ON THE BACK BUMPER)

Hernandez has been charged with aggravated drunk driving and second-degree murder. Prosecutors say,

“She never braked, and she accelerated at a high speed for about 200 feet. She went directly at this group of people.”

Meanwhile, the victim’s sister says she wants justice,

“I want her to rot in a cold jail cell for the rest of her life and remember every day the face that hit her windshield,” Faith Beaudoin, the victim’s sister, said in a phone interview. “I want her to remember that she took a wonderful, kind-hearted gentleman. She has children of her own. How could she want to harm another’s child?”

BABY DRINKS BEER AT BASEBALL GAME

May 8, 2008

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45-YEAR-OLD JUNKBALLER BEATS 100 MPH ROOKIE

May 6, 2008

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS ROOKIE MAX SCHERZER

So much for baseball’s next big thing. Yesterday in baseball the tortoise beat the hare as 45-year-old Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer outdueled Arizona Diamondbacks phenom Max Scherzer. The Phillies beat Arizona 11-4. The 23-year-old Scherzer gave up two earned runs in four innings. Scherzer was phenomenal in his major league debut last week striking out 7 in a four inning stint against the Astros. His debut was the longest since 1900 by a pitcher who retired every hitter he faced. He was immediately inserted into the Diamondbacks starting rotation.

The contrast in styles between the two pitchers was awesome. Scherzer throws 98 mph. Moyer throws 78. Scherzer was recently called up from the minors where he had a 1.17 ERA and struck out 38 batters in 23 innings. Scherzer had a 0.65 WHIP in Triple A.

One other interesting note about Scherzer. He has rare medical condition called heterochromia. It’s a little hard to tell but you can see it in this picture:

Each of Scherzer’s eyes is a different color. One is blue the other is brown.

ENOUGH ALREADY!

May 4, 2008

WITH ALL THOSE MISTRESSES HOW DID ROGER CLEMENS FIND TIME FOR A WIFE?

Yawn! Another day another story about Roger Clemens and his affairs.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m as interested in scandal and dirt as much as the next person. And if it wasn’t for the revelation of abhorrent behavior I wouldn’t even HAVE a blog. But, ENOUGH already with the stories about Roger Clemens’ penis.

The New York Daily News has another article today about Roger Clemens cheating on his wife. It’s the seventh day in a row that the newspaper has run a story on this topic. Today the Daily News interviewed the mother of one of Clemens’ mistresses. Nice touch.

I know it’s been seven days in a row of Clemensgate because the Daily News ran a graphic next to the Clemens story that said: Day 7. Enough. I cared the first three days. Maybe four. Now the paper is just piling on.

Worse, the Daily News is devoting so much of the paper’s resources to these silly issues. The problem is they hired an entire TEAM of investigative reporters to cover the steroids issue. The Daily News is not only paying these reporters handsomely they spent money promoting and marketing their new “I-team.” They even gave them their own logo:

 What happened after spending all this money? The newspaper found their readers DON’T CARE about the steroids issue. No matter how many times you write about steroids or what stories you break on the topic, nobody cares. It literally doesn’t matter how salacious or scandalous the stories are about baseball players using steroids IT WON’T SELL NEWSPAPERS. Stories about Roger Clemens boning some 15-year-old or blonde fat chick MIGHT. Sex sells. That’s why we get Roger Clemens cheating on his wife: Day 7. Or day 15. Let’s certainly hope it doesn’t come to that.

If the Daily News really wants to sell a lot of newspapers they should not worry about Roger Clemens’ sexlife. They just need to go hire the headline writers from their cross city rival the New York Post.


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