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HEATHER CHADWELL OF VH1′S ROCK OF LOVE: SHOCKINGLY MORE POPULAR IN VEGAS THAN SEAN HANNITY

From the Los Angeles Times blog The Movable Buffet

Richard Abowitz made this hilarious discovery for his Vegas-themed blog: It turns out that strippers and hustlers are more popular in Las Vegas than radio host Sean Hannity. By ten times.

Hannity held a Fox News event at the Orleans Arena earlier this year. Abowitz discovered it drew 3,200 people. Meanwhile the upcoming Strippers and Hustlers Ball at the same arena is expecting over 30,000 people to attend over a two day period during Labor Day weekend. Here’s why:

THIS LOSER HAS FIVE WOMEN AT THE STRIPPERS BALL

Hannitize that!

The Strippers and Hustlers Ball used to be called the “Pimp N’ Ho Ball,” but apparently that’s too politically incorrect even for Las Vegas.

Of course, it’s not exactly shocking that strippers are ten times more popular than Sean Hannity. Maybe it’s because the Strippers Ball has blazing hot, scantily clad, drunk women as a draw. Sean Hannity used Lee Greenwood and Oliver North.

In all fairness, it was no contest. Strippers1 Hannity 0.

SEAN HANNITY

GENE UPSHAW

NFLPA president Gene Upshaw died of pancreatic cancer Thursday. He was 63.

Upshaw was a Hall of Fame player as an offensive lineman with the Oakland Raiders. He took over as head of the National Football League players union in 1983.

THE NEW EASTSIDE CANNERY

Despite a sagging local economy and the halt of numerous construction projects on the Strip, there is actually one casino that is OPENING in Las Vegas. The Eastside Cannery will open its doors next Thursday.

Far from the Strip (figuratively if not literally), the Eastside Cannery is located on the old Boulder Highway. The new hotel is 16 stories and has 307 rooms.

NOW THAT RICKY MARTIN HAS KIDS THEY CAN PLAY WITH THEIR DAD’S DOLL

Multiplatinum ’90s singing star Ricky Martin is now the father of twin boys. Since Mr. “Livin’ La Vida Loca” thinks having sex with girls is icky, the children were delivered “via gestational surrogacy.”

Martin paid a surrogate mother to carry the twins. He now takes full custody of the babies after a financial arrangement.

THIS IS THE CLOSEST RICKY MARTIN CAME TO CONCEIVING CHILDREN THE OLD FASHIONED WAY

JESSICA ALBA

JENNIFER ANISTON

Ordinarily I couldn’t give a damn, but apparently “He’s Just Not That Into You” is not just the title of actress Jennifer Anniston’s upcoming new movie, but it has apparently also become a way of life.

First Brad Pitt dumped her then Vince Vaughn. However, recently Aniston suffered a new low. Not only was the former Friends star dropped by possibly bisexual wussrocker John Mayer, but he reportedly broke up with her by text message.

Honestly, Jennifer Aniston is one of the most overrated celebrity chicks in history. Is there anybody on planet earth questioning Brad Pitt’s decision to upgrade to Angelina Jolie?

CHARLES BARKLEY: OPEN WIDE AND SAY AHHH! (no, the other end)

Brace yourself. This might be the worst mental image you’ll ever picture in your life. I haven’t seen this blurb receive as much publicity as I thought, but it was in the Philadelphia Daily News and on Foxsports.com today.

Former NBA star Charles Barkley is going to undergo a colonoscopy Friday and it’s going to be TELEVISED.

Great! I mean, who doesn’t want to see the inside of Charles Barkley’s ass? At first, I thought this would just be another goofy little TNT segment with Kenny Smith and Ernie Johnson. Nope! Barkley’s giant butt is going network. Make that THREE networks. Barkley is undergoing the test as part of the “Stand Up To Cancer” event being televised on September 5th. It will be aired on NBC, ABC, AND CBS making Barkley’s colonoscopy one of the most widely televised events in broadcasting history.

No!!!!!!!!!!!

The televised event actually led to some creative writer at Foxsports.com penning this lead:

“We may not know what Shaq’s tastes like (or really care to, for that matter), but we’re about to find out what Sir Charles’ looks like.”

The article also contains another classic Barkley quote,

they were “probably just looking for the celebrity with the biggest ass.”

NETWORK PREVIEW? AN ACTUAL COLONOSCOPY PHOTO

THE LEGEND: ANDREW GAZE

Foxsports.com ran a story earlier today in which they referred to “legendary” basketball player Andrew Gaze. I would happily link you to the artice but it has been removed from the Foxsports website. Gaze talked about what a huge Olympic moment it would be if the Aussies beat Team USA.  I don’t know if the article was pulled because the U.S. kicked Australia’s ass or if it was because somebody used “Andrew Gaze” and “legend” in the same sentence.

Gaze was an okay player at Seton Hall. He played parts of two seasons in the NBA with Washington and San Antonio averaging 1.7 points per game in 26 career NBA games. Even if he was one of the “greatest” players in the history of Australia, that puts him on par with Shane Heal and Chris Anstey.

Either way he’s no Luc Longley. And how much of a “legend” was he?