BRIEF CLAIMS STEROID SYRINGE TESTS POSITIVE FOR ROGER CLEMENS’ DNA

ROGER CLEMENS

The lawyers of Brian McNamee say steroid syringes and other items the personal trainer gave to the Feds will test positive for pitcher Roger Clemens’ DNA. The attorneys made the claim in a brief filed in court today.

The lawyers are trying to get Clemens’ defamation lawsuit against McNamee thrown out of court. They claim once the results of the DNA tests are revealed they will prove their client is innocent. Clemens gave federal investigators bloody syringes and gauze that he claims Roger Clemens used to shoot up with illegal steroids. Here’s an actual picture of the syringes and other items that was submitted to Congress:

There was one other interesting item in today’s brief. The attorneys claim McNamee is suffering extreme financial “distress” since he testified against Clemens. From January through June of 2008, McNamee, the one-time personal trainer to the stars, earned a reported TOTAL of $3,000 in income.

A-ROD IS A FREE AGENT

CYNTHIA AND ALEX RODRIGUEZ

According to today’s New York Daily News, baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez’s wife has left him.

The paper says the couple has split after “three months of problems in their marriage.” The Daily News item follows a report posted by Perezhilton.com that claims Cynthia Rodriguez is currently on vacation in Paris with singer Lenny Kravitz.

So, A-Rod is rumored to be having sex with Madonna while his wife is doing Lenny Kravitz. This is a joke, right? Maybe they’re going to do a reality show whose premise is who can do the more washed up rock star.

On the other hand, I’m not sure if this is possible, but I think all four of them are underachieving.

 

A-ROD AND HIS WIFE-STEALING BUDDY LENNY KRAVITZ

A’S GIVE 16-YEAR-OLD $4.25 MILLION SIGNING BONUS

MICHAEL INOA

The Oakland Athletics today signed prized Domincan pitching prospect Michael Inoa. Inoa, who’s 6-foot-7 and has a fastball clocked in the mid 90’s, received a $4.25 million signing bonus.

WORST BASEBALL INJURY EVER?

 

CHRIS SNYDER

Arizona Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder went on the disabled list Tuesday. He has a fractured testicle.

It is uncertain how long Snyder will be out or if he’ll require surgery.

TABLOID WARS OVER MADONNA/A-ROD RUMORS

 

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is back in tabloid hell.

US magazine has run two days worth of stories that imply Rodriguez MAY have been having an affair with 50-ish singer Madonna.

The rumors have put New York’s tabloids into a full-on feeding frenzy. Yesterday A-Rod had to dodge a horde of paparazzi while accompanying children with cancer to a Make-A-Wish Foundation benefit.

The US rumors seem a little shaky at best. They are based on the stories that Madonna may (or may not) have recently seperated from her husband, director Guy Ritchie. There is speculation that A-Rod MAY have been seen going into Madonna’s apartment building several month ago. There are also pictures of Madonna attending a Yankees game and sitting in A-rod’s seats.

 

Plus, one of Madonna’s children was recently spotted playing in a Yankees jersey.

Well, there you go!

Frankly, you could start some way better celebrity rumors about Madonna based on just as little evidence:

 

THE MANNY RULES

MANNY RAMIREZ

This wasn’t Manny being Manny. This was Manny assaulting an old man.

Yesterday Boston Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez shoved the team’s traveling secretary, Jack McCormick,  to the ground after a dispute about tickets. That type of behavior will get you released if you’re Shawn Chacon. If you’re a future Hall-of-Famer NOTHING happens.

 

OH WELL, JUST MANNY BEING MANNY

Ramirez apologized to McCormick and the Red Sox say the case is closed.

As Red Sox manager Terry Francona says, “Things happen.”

 

UNLIKE SHAWN CHACON, MANNY DOESN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PACKING HIS BAGS

WILL “MONEYBALL” WORK IN SOCCER? ANSWER: WHO CARES?

 

BORED WITH BASEBALL? A’S GM BILLY BEANE

Thanks to SPORTSbyBROOKS for this gem:

In his baseball notes column this week, Tracy Ringolsby of The Rocky Mountain News writes that Oakland A’s “genius” general manager Billy Beane may quit his job.

Ringolsby writes that Beane may leave the A’s to take a similar job in professsional soccer. A’s owner Lewis Wolff also owns the San Jose Earthquakes of MLS. Ringolsby also reports that highly regarded A’s assistant general manager David Forst has turned down all potential job interviews. Why? Because rumor has it Forst may be replacing Beane as early as next year.

The San Francisco Chronicle actually wrote about Beane’s fascination with soccer back in February. The article described Mr. Moneyball as being interested in seeing if his small-market strategies could be applied to soccer. In turn, several European World Cup soccer teams reportedly sent representatives to Oakland to observe Beane’s “Moneyball” techniques.

If Billy Beane ever left one of the most secure jobs in baseball to run a SOCCER team it would truly be one of the most stunning stories in baseball history.

KERRY WOOD IS #1

CHICAGO CUBS PITCHER KERRY WOOD ON SATURDAY’S FOX BROADCAST AGAINST THE WHITE SOX

BIGGEST DOUCHE IN BASEBALL PLACED ON D.L. FOR DRUNKENNESS

ALBERTO CALLASPO

Alberto Callaspo is probably the biggest jerk in baseball. The Kansas City Royals light-hitting utility infielder was arrested Friday and charged with DUI. Last year he was charged with domestic violence after assaulting his wife.

Sure, you’re thinking, lots of professional athletes beat their wives. So what?

Unfortunately, Callaspo’s case was unique. Callaspo actually STABBED HIS WIFE IN THE FACE with a knife. When the Arizona Diamondbacks tried to suspend Callaspo without pay the union stepped in and ordered Callaspo reinstated with his full salary. Callaspo then literally bullied his wife into dropping the charges and the case was dismissed. The couple is still together.

Tired of his act, the Diamondbacks traded Callaspo to Kansas City in the offseason. Callaspo was arrested 4:30 Friday morning after running a red light and charged with DUI. 

In 99 cases out of 100 I always side with players in their disputes with management. Here’s the one case where you can call me “old fashioned.” Callaspo is a ridiculously awful human being. Plus HE SUCKS. Callaspo is a career .245 hitter. In three seasons he has exactly ZERO career homers. In fact, his home run percentage is the worst of every player in Major League Baseball.

Call me crazy but couldn’t you get someone who HASN’T stabbed their wife in the face to hit zero home runs?

Originally the team was going to do nothing to Callaspo. He was actually in uniform for Kansas City on Friday after spending the night in a drunk tank. In fact, following Callaspo’s arrest, Royals GM Dayton Moore said,

 

“…we’re very supportive of getting him through this tough time.”

 

 

Saturday the Royals changed their minds. They placed Callaspo on the disabled list with “an unspecified medical condition.” Yeah, it’s called terminal stupidity.

AMAZING VIDEO OF BALL GIRL CATCH-IS IT REAL?

&fmt=18