TOO MUCH INFORMATION

 

Houston Astros second baseman, Kaz Matsui, is expected to miss four or five days of spring training with what is being termed as an “anal fissure” the club announced Tuesday.

Great. Nice announcement. Coming from Las Vegas,  I can only say I wish we could get such detailed and accurate (though nauseating) information on NFL injury reports.

Here’s the definition of an anal fissure courtesy of webmd.com: An anal fissure is a tear in the lining of the lower rectum (anus) that causes pain during bowel movements.

Thanks. I now know way more about Kaz Matsui’s anus than I ever wanted to know.

And if you think that’s bad…

Chicago Cubs outfielder, Felix Pie is expected to be out 3-5 days with “testicular tortion.” What’s that? Basically, it’s a twisted testicle.

Pie suffered the injury early in camp. He’s schedule to undergo “minor corrective surgery.” The surgery involves sewing the outer layer of the testicle to the scrotum wall. The Cubs said it was a minor procedure, and if the problem was not corrected soon, Pie would risk losing the testicle.

Holy Crap! I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound so “minor” to me. But, maybe I’m just thinking about my testicles.

The Cubs said Pie will undergo the surgery after they were unsuccessful in adjusting the testicle “manually.”

Tags: anal fissure, baseball injuries, Felix Pie, Kaz Matsui, testicular tortion